Black Mage: The Arcane Shinobi
by Silverscale
Summary: Black Mage, deranged magician and insane murderer is sent to another dimension after the final battle with the demon lord Chaos. Now in the world of Shinobi he does what he does the best, cause blood chilling fear, bloody gore and chaotic disorder!


Black Mage: The Arcane Shinobi 

By Silverscale

Summary: This is a fic I am doing to honor the legendary 8-Bit Theater. I am going to make at least four versions in total, one in the Naruto Universe, one in the Harry Potter Universe, one in the Lord of the Ring Universe and one in the Bleach Universe.

Disclaimer: I do not own 8-Bit Theater or Naruto.

"Speech"

**"Spells/Techniques"**

**BLACKMAGE** (SCENE BREAK)

(A/N) 

Chapter One: The Black Mage

Black Mage. The name he was given by his profession as an adventurer and warrior. A complete and utter bastard, with a disturbing longing for murder, blood, destruction and sexy ladies. At least that was what the world saw in him as he fought with the three others that, with him, made up the group known as the Light Warriors. Thief, the kleptomaniac elf who would steal everything, even our own will, just for the heck of it, was the first to join the two leaders of the group, him, Black Mage, and Fighter. Red Mage, a D&D obsessed lunatic who needed a serious reality check, a good fighter with powerful ice magic, he was the nerdy loony of the group.

Then there was Fighter, the one who Black Mage constantly said that he wanted to transmute into a frog, turn into frog legs, then reanimate said frog, turn him into a pig, throw him to a pride of hell hounds, then resurrect said pig and do the circle all over again. A complete child in a seven feet tall muscle bond body made to break the skull of giants, with a complete obsession in sharp weapons and a strange weapon he called 'Sword Chucks', which was a crazy weapon that was a pair of long swords attached to one another by a long chain.

All over the world they traveled, fighting evil, causing havoc, ruining entire countries' economies, causing natural disasters, thwarting evil, killing innocent bystanders, drive people insane with stupidity, destroying whole countries and much more. They also did quests for Sagacious Sarda the Sage, collecting the four orbs of the elements, one heck of a journey with lots of insanity.

And then they came to the point of the final battle against the demon lord Chaos... It was both insane, funny, sad, depressing and bloody. Thief managed to steal everything the demon owned, even his undies, and he didn't even own undies. Red mage froze the demon's limps and made him dizzy with insane D&D mathematical babble. Fighter... Fighter cut up the big bad demon like a rotten melon but was in the end... killed.

Now Black Mage may think of Fighter as a complete moron with an IQ below the ultimate negative. But yet he was Black Mage's only friend, the only one he could really feel comfortable around as they had known one another for more then half of their lives. It was probably he first time in his life that he, Black Mage, the most sadistic and bloodthirsty mage to ever exist, felt true emotional sorrow.

With this new emotion in his heart the arcane master cast the ultimate spells, the two spells he had gained through hard research and sacrifice rituals. In his left hand he gathered the blue energy of love which he drained from the world's population, the **Hadoken**. He normally collected the brighter sources of love but after a beating of White Mage had he been convinced to just drained the sadistic love of rapists, drug dealers and other serious criminals, at least he only received a fist to the shoulder from then on. In his right hand he gathered a pure orb of the purest energy, by splitting the tiniest parts of the atoms and gather them together, creating a balanced force of incredible power not unlike a nuclear bomb but far more powerful, the ultimate black magic spell of the public black arts knowledge, **Ultima**.

He then preformed a thought impossible task, he combined his **Hadoken** with the **Ultima** and thus created a force strong enough to destroy gods. This spell had no name, no description, no technique, all Black Mage did was fusing the most powerful Emotional Spell with the most powerful Logical Spell, Emotion, the source of Fantasy and Supernatural, Logic, the source of Science and Reality. These two forces made up all of magic, White, Black, Red, Blue, whatever colour you wished to use, all were used by these two forces. And to combine these two powers in their purest form would create a force far more powerful then anything seen in the entire universe. And Black Mage was the one to create it and name it, as he thrusts his two hands forward, the orb of swirling pure colourless and yet colourful energy pulsing between his palms, and shout out the name of the ultimate spell. **"ARCANE GLADIUS!!!!!" (1)  
**

A great flash of pure colourless and yet colourful energy erupted from his hands and the Demon Lord Chaos could only gape in shock as the huge monstrous of pure matter flew into him and vaporised him entirely, including his very soul. The incredible force of magic in its purest form caused a huge explosion that send Thief, Red Mage and the corpse of Fighter flying away from Black Mage's location and out from the dimension they had been fighting Chaos in. A black hole erupted from the impact and Black Mage could only grin as he and the dimension was swallowed by the darkness and shouted out these words that echoed through the dimension and could be heard all over his home world. "I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL FIGHTER!!!" Stubborn to the very end.

With that the most powerful mage in the world disappeared without a trace, leaving only the memories of his existence and the many demolished countries, cities and people as permanent reminders. Of course it wasn't a lot of good reminders but hey, made his name in history, both in blood, bodies, ashes, destruction and more all on his own, and not many villains could brag about such a feat.

**BLACKMAGE**

The blue fabric of his mantle flapped in the wind as he sailed down toward the land below, one hand holding onto his blue wizard hat and the other reaching into a hidden sheath on his back and withdrew a long black staff with a dragon shaped head piece with a diamond in its claws' clutches. Chanting in an ancient tongue the magic user cast the basic spell Feather-fall and started to slowly levitate down toward the ground. Black Mage took his time to scan the new worlds below and noticed that it consisted mostly of one big continent with a few big islands around it. Not wanting to recast his Feather-Fall spell the arcane master cast a minor teleportation spell and transported himself down toward the middle of the continent, which consisted mostly of forest and mountains.

Chanting in the tongue of the ancient Black Mage created two black bird wings that let him fly like a bird. The arcane master flapped his black wings and glided across the sky, his two yellow eyes glowing in the darkness covering his face, scanning the ground below for anything of interest. "I sure weren't considering surviving a black hole and end up in another world... meh if it worked for those darn kids in Narnia should it work for me." With that the black mage finished his muttering and let his large black wings carry him over the green land.

It was a boring and silent flight but things sure got exciting when BM had to sway to the side as a five hundred feet tall red nine tailed fox suddenly came leaping from the south. The black magician was confused as heck but not afraid as the kitsune wasn't powerful enough to make Chaos flinch, hell most monsters in his worlds would have made the things into a rug. Still curiosity was eating him inside so the magic user flew after the huge beast and scanned it with magic as he flew above it. The huge beast was affected by some kind of magical veil or curse by the collection of runes painted on its head.

"This is getting more and more interesting." He muttered to himself as he flew closer to the kitsune and cast a powerful **Invisibility Spell** along with a **Ghastly Form Spell**, thus making him into an invisible ghost. Black Mage landed on the kitsune's head without being noticed and looked at the runes, they were a mixture of japanese, english and elven letters, a truly remarkable work. They were made so that the kitsune would go mad and attack a certain target until it either died, got defeated, knocked unconscious or captured.

With a sadistic grin the black mage flew off the kitsune and looked to the north where he saw a huge village with a mountain with four big heads carved out of it, probably high leaders of the village. With a fast flap and a soft rain of black feathers he flew toward the village and canceled his **Ghastly Form Spell** to make sure that he didn't end up blowing away by a strong wind as the **Ghastly Form** was very unreliable in strong winds.

Black mage landed smoothly on the middle head of the mountain, a weird guy with a goat beard who looked slightly like a monkey. The arcane master sat down and summoned a bag of popcorn and some soda and sat down to watch the show. He wasn't disappointed when the giant fox attacked the village and how the strange thief like warriors tried to stop it using strange spells, weapons, stealth techniques and more. It sure was an interesting world he had gotten to, it was also very interesting when a young blond man suddenly summoned a humongous toad around the same size as the fox. The young man was he same as the head next to the one Black Mage was sitting on and was probably a big figure head or leader of the village.

"Hehehehe! Well I cannot let him have all the fun now can I?" He said to himself with a sadistic grin before he spread his wings and flew toward the battlefield, dispelling his invisibility as he flew. The people and warriors of the village were staring at him in pure shock as he flew over them like a black raven, well his maniac like laughter as he kept weaving through blasts of fire, lightning, ice, wind and more from the kitsune was probably a good reason for that. The kitsune had discovered him as soon as he put off the invisibility, it had a really good sense of smelling, logical since it was a fox.

"Hahahahahahahahahahaha! That's the best you can do!? I have faced corpses tougher then you!" The taunting laughter plus the insult about it being weaker then a corpse made the kitsune angry beyond belief and it focused all its attacks on the flying magic user. Black Mage just grinned and weaved through the various projectiles and raised his staff and focused mana which he started to weave and then swung the staff forward and shouted. **"GRAND FLAME BARRAGE"** (2)

A wave of hundreds of grizzly bear sized fire balls shoot out from the staff's headpiece, starting small but then expanded, and the fox was sent flying out from the village and into the mountainside to the east by the incredible force behind the attack and the explosion it caused.With a wicked laughter Black Mage flew after the fox, which had recovered and was now firing a powerful beam of pure mana. The dark magician just grinned and threw out a potion from inside his robe and spoke in a loud and clear voice. **"Reflecting Barrier!"** (3) A pure white crystalline shield in the shape of an orb surrounded BM and the powerful beam of energy smashed into it but simply bounced back at the surprised fox and sent it flying deeper into the mountainside.

"Not much of a challenge for somebody of my caliber but I must say that you have some interesting powers, this is the first time I've meet a demon who can control more then one source of energy, not even Chaos could do that, he just used a mix of antimatter and matter. Too bad you're not so strong though, would have been grand to see what kind of techniques you could have preformed if you were at my level of power." With that the shadow covered face of blackmage grinned and his yellow eyes glowed with arcane energy and he raised one hand and started to chant as blue electricity like energy started to gather in the space above his palm while the dark clouds above swirled down in a spiral, lightning arching through them and powering up the blue orb even more. The amount of mana put into the orb was making the very air around Black Mage glow in a bright blue aura that made his body appear to be pure black, making a visage of a black angel in the clear blue energy. The yellow glowing eyes of the black angel grinned and the shocked people of the village and the surprised giant fox could only gape as he thrusted his arm forward in the form of a slow throw and shouted. **"GRAND D. BOLT!!!"** (4)

The orb of pure blue light sparked with furious energy as it was launched and the poor fox stood no chance as it was fried by the powerful lightning spell and its fur sparked with so much energy that it looked like a huge hedgehog with a bad hair day and a big tail. The powerful arcane spell was too much for the demonic entity and it was knocked unconscious and laid in the ruined mountainside, looking like a sleeping puppy now that its fur had discharged the electricity into the metal of the mountain. Black Mage sighed and smoothly landed by the unconscious demon fox and muttered to himself as he found the boring match a large disappointment. "Dammit, the freaking fur-ball didn't even use anything interesting, just brawl like moves, well can't really blame it with the rune and seals of madness written on its skull, though I do need a new familiar, blood imp couldn't stop commenting how I would never get White Mage to kiss me, hehe I paid him back though by getting her to do just that by saving a orphanage from a giant, though the giant fell on it after a couple of minutes and I got a kick in the crotch but I still got my kiss! Blasted imp didn't know what hit him." Realizing the he was ranting to himself Black Mage decided to follow the rule all battlers followed after a fight, to the victor goes the spoil. He started to alter the seals on the fox's skull and then reformed them into a familiar bond and then linked it to himself, in a few moments were the seals fading into the demon's very soul and the mad magician had a big ass fox for a familiar.

With a cheerful whistling on his lisp the wizard dispelled the wings on his back and pulled out a bottle of scotch whiskey from the bag of holding he was keeping on his belt, not even Thief knew about it and could never steal it as he had bonded it to his robes, belt and put a seal on those so that only he could remove them with magic, it was a good thing that Thief couldn't steel magical signature or he might have been able to steal it, after stealing Black Mage's robes, and that was something Thief had learned not to after having a mental breakdown of seeing Black Mage's cursed face. The Black Mage Curse was a curse that was inflicted on them after graduation, it made those who saw their faces relive incredible horrors beyond imagination and reality and couldn't remember just what it was that they saw. To Black Mage was this annoying as he had lost many dates because of this and he had a hard time going to the beach or the public baths. It was a good thing that the grandmaster of the Black Mage College removed the curse after the Light Warriors defeated the Lich who had been infecting the earth and caused it to rot, boy was he glad to get rid of it, but still kept it hidden so they would leave his hat alone.

He took a sip from the bottle and let out a soft sigh when suddenly a huge frog, though not as big as his new familiar, landed right in front of the mountain, its head looking at him right over the edge of the mountain with the tall blond standing on his head with the baby in his arms. "Now that's one huge frog... how exactly do you keep it feed? I haven't seen any giant flies it can eat, or perhaps it's on a diet as it ate all said giant flies." The chosen words of Black Mage made the blond man chuckle at the giant frog to sputter in a flabbergasted manner before it pulled out a pipe and lit it while grumbling about disrespectful humans. The mage raised an eyebrow at the fact that the frog could speak but decided against commenting it, he had experienced way weirder things in his life.

The blond jumped off the frog's head and spoke to the mage. "No stranger he's Gamabunta, the boss of the frog summonings, he lives in a separate dimension of this one. I have signed his summoning contract and is able to summon all of his kin. But anyway, I wish to know the name of the man who defeated Kyuubi the Youkai King single handily." The blond looked at the drinking man in the strange robes who took a sip of the bottle before he responded.

"My name is my own, but I go by my title and profession, I am Black Mage, you can call me BM if you wish but I will not promise if I like you enough to let you do so and I might stab you with my dagger and carve out your spine and use it to beat your skull until your brain pours out through your ears, nostrils and mouth." The white robed man's face grew green and so did the frog as the magician described what he would do to him if he called him BM and he didn't like him. He coughed in his hand and tried to keep the shiver in his spine down and spoke up again.

"Ah very well Black Mage, I am Minato Namikaze, the Yondaime Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village. I would like to thank you for defeating Kyuubi and preventing me from sacrificing myself to defend it as I know not even I can defeat the fox even if I am said to be the most powerful ninja in the Elemental Countries." Now this was something Black Mage found interesting, Thief had become a ninja when they had given Bahamut that Rat Tail he needed for soup and that hadn't really done anything but giving him the ability to throw anything no matter its mass or weight. But these ninjas knew spells, illusions and other manners of skills he had never heard of, if Thief had focused more on his Ninja skills then he might have been able to learn them, now THAT was a scary thought, Thief using magic brrrr.

Returning his mind to the present Black Mage spoke up in a rather sarcastic voice. "As touching as it is to be thanked by the high mugwump of this place so do I have to ask you something. Exactly what the hell are you people, I've seen ninjas before but never those who can use spells or skills like you."

Now it was Minato's turn to be confused as he had never heard about spells before but since it probably was a word for their techniques so did he think of it as a translation of another language. "Well our techniques are crafted from the craft chakra, a mixture of physical and mental energy, which we develop in our bodies since birth into our bodies' to create a tenketsu system which lets us produce chakra on our own."

"...Wow... that's one big load of unnecessary bullshit." Was the simple response from Black Mage as he took a sip of his drink as the Yondaime stared at him in complete shock and grinned in the darkness of his hat and continued. "Physical and mental energies doesn't exist, there's only Ki the energy which all living organisms produces and mana the energy which is said to have created the universe and thus is the very foundation of creation and destruction." Taking another sip of his drink the magic user continued. "To mix ki and mana is highly dangerous and mostly ends up with huge explosions which have destroyed entire cities. What you people are using is mana, but you draw it in a different manner, you use your ki in your body to draw the mana and the ki around you to create those jutsie thingies through hand seals to create certain effects. But us mages simply bend mana to our will, we can manipulate the very foundation of worlds with a twist of our hand, if we are strong enough, and some have even been known to have created dimension in similar manners."

After taking another sip of his alcohol the blue robed mage grinned at the still stunned Yondaime and continued. "So in short, you people have probably wasted generation upon generation creating those coils you use to gather mana while in fact you could have simply learned to bend it by your minds alone." It would be a long time for the people of the shinobi world to recover from the shock at the fact that all their time developing their chakra coils had been a complete waste of time.

The Yondaime was trying to keep himself from falling over crying in depression at the fact that he had wasted most of his life as a genin developing his coils since birth and through the academy when it was possible to find a way to use chakra with your mind alone. Keeping up his neutral face, even though a light twitching vein in his forehead gave away his frustration, he spoke to the mysterious warrior who had just kicked every chakra user in the entire world in the groin as he proved to them that you could use chakra without chakra coils. "Be as it may Mage-san, would you tell me what you plan to do with the Kyuubi? I hardly believe there's a good reason to let the lord of demons recover and attack again."

Black mage responded by snorting, snicker and finally chuckling as he spoke."Pfff! Yeah right. That demon had a group of seals on its head making it target this village until it either succeeded, was killed, captured or defeated. And since I defeated it is it back to its normal self, except the fact that I bond it to me by a familiar ritual, making it my personal servant if you want to call it that." Not being able to take anymore shocking revelations the Yondaime fainted at the thought of the most powerful demon of the world being under the control of an even stronger being who was apparently even more sadistic and mentally deranged the any demonic creature.

The world of the shinobies had no idea what had hit it, but that wouldn't last for very long.

TBC

(1, Arcane Gladius means Arcane Sword, Blade and (snicker) Penis.)

(2, Grand Flame Barrage is my name for when you use Fire3 on multiple opponents, I will give each 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 level spell a different name to make it sound better.)

(3, Reflecting Barrier is Reflect, I am making it possible for Black Mage to use white magic as he got Blue Magic that allows him to copy special skills used in battle against him, that's how he learned Ultima by the way.)

(4, Grand Diamond Bolt, Bolt3.)

Comment: And that's how Black Mages becomes part of the world of Naruto. I am going to set up a poll in my profile about Kyuubi and two in this chapter. Be sure to review and send me your votes and comments through the button below.

Pairing Poll (Suggestions only)

Who should Black Mage be with?

Who should Naruto be With?

Person Pool

Should Minato Die?

Should Minato Turn Evil?

Should Itachi be Evil or Good?

Should Itachi slaughter his Family?

Should Sasuke remain the gay emo he is?

When should Orochimaru be killed

Should I keep the Red Dawn organization who wants the bijuus?

If not when give me suggestions on what kind of evil I should have in this story.

If you want to make a character for this story send me one made by the sheet below

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Profession: (Shinobi, carpenter, sailor, merchant, etc)

Rank: (Only if working in a ranked profession like Shinobi, Samurai, Nobleman/Noblewoman, Assassin, Etc)

Description: (Text, you can add a picture link if you want but not without a text description)

Biography: (History no need to make it big but make it longer then five sentences.)

Stat Ranks (If you are of a combat profession. You have to have at least two weaknesses, personal weaknesses counts but do not over power your character.)

Tip: use the biography of your character to base your character's strengths and weaknesses.

These are the ranks from bottom and up. None existing, Weak, Normal, Average, Moderate, High, Very High and Extreme.

Strength:

Agility:

Stamina:

Chakra/Mana: (Chakra and mana is the same thing in this story.)

Control:

Intelligence:

Luck:

PS: You can make character similar to others from games and animes but make them adapted to the shinobi world and no one is going to be from another dimension, Black Mage is enough.


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